Growing up overseas ... (Well, maybe just growing up ...)

Well, I guess this isn't just about growing up overseas, but my growing up in general.

I think maybe this is a little insight to me.

I was born in Europe.  My mother's side of the family is British, Italian.  My father's side is British and French.  There is some northern European thrown in their somewhere too.

Throughout my childhood and I guess continuing into adulthood, I have lived in a somewhat disruptive environment.  I never really knew my father much, it was mostly myself and my mother, oh and my grandmother and grandfather.  

For a time we lived in central London, I was maybe five or six, everything was large.  We didn't have a whole bunch of money, in fact, so little, we had to give away the cat as we couldn't afford to feed it.

School was, well, scary a lot of times.  I never fit in well.  The odd one out I guess.

My mom worked, so I was a latch-key kid, walk home from school and make my own dinner, try not to burn the apartment down.

We eventually moved out of central London and into the burbs.  It wasn't much better, still dirty streets, socially obnoxious teens and youths, always in your face and sometimes in your back too.

It was a case of being hyper alert of your surroundings.  We lived there a long time.  Junior high and high school.

My mom was always busy with work and that was maybe due to myself and my sister being more self sufficient than we should have.

Early, maybe pre-teen, I had OCD, had it for a few years.  I suffered in silence, family still don't know.  High school was not fun, lots of bullying for what I looked like, how I had to dress as we couldn't afford the expensive brand sweaters to go with my uniform.  Yes, we had school uniforms like Harry Potter.  I was tall and skinny.  I played soccer and basketball at school.  No surprise there.

All throughout those school years, I was avoiding other kids like the plague, avoid the finger pointing, physical abuse.  Yes physical abuse happens a lot in public schools.  I couldn't wait until finals came around, time to get out of a living hell.  The only break I got is when we went out of town to see relatives or trips in to Spain or France.

So, finals, yes, again stress time.  But, passed, A's / B's – bye bye.  Age fifteen, I was out of school for good.  In to the real world.  Age sixteen, I was working in an office.

But those disruptive environments linger.  They still happen all the time.  Whether it be work, raising a child.  Yes we all do that, but when mental health issues are in the mix, it's ten fold harder.

Oh, the OCD thing, I thought that was long gone, but no.  It seems I still have it.  All the weird little symptoms of life, yup, OCD related, I see it clear as day now too.  Just takes a different form, but still there causing some of my disruptive environment.

Was my upbringing fruitful in anyway ?  I guess.  It taught me to be self sufficient, my mom did teach me how to use the power drill, put up shelves, cook, learned about clothes, and what it was like to be a woman running the house.  She kept the sinking ship from sinking.  Fast forward, it's what I am doing today, just a bigger ship.

Being raised overseas did also allow me to see the huge differences between Europe and the US.

Europe is similar, but very different, different in a good way.  Do I miss Europe ?  A little.  I like visiting Rotterdam, it feels like home away from home.  

Well, not exactly talking about growing up in Europe, but a little insight none the less.